It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
