Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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