If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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