my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
