Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
