yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
