so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
two words: eviction party
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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