everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
