We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
