hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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