So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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