My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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