....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
