it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
