don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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