Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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