i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A bitchslap is in order.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
