I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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