He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Houston, we have a blender
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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