i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
