Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
