...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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