Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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