So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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