I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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