Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
