No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize