i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
