Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
