like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
