I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
