I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
