i was rollin on her like bob the builder
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
