We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
is that a dick in a sweater?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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