You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
