I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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