they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
