This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The power of my boobs compel you
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
