We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
