so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
