So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
my poor anus
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
