i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
