The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
