you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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