Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We had to coat check the pizza.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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