Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
