David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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