It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
