My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
