I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
