Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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