I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
