I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
